Well it's been a while...
But for some reason, I'm feeling like writing. Might have something to do with me being stuck home alone with my grandma on a Saturday night. Leaves me a lot of time to think, though that's not always a good thing. Makes me realize how pathetic my life is when Ally's away. I don't really think about her much or else that'll totally spoil my days, but as soon as I get home that's all that's on my mind. When I hear the phone ring, my heart skips a beat in hopes it's her. It's sad really, she's got me totally wrapped around her finger and that's something I'm liking. Ugh. *shudder* Might as well crack the whip now, heh. Luckily for me, she's coming back monday, but with my work schedule it's somewhat annoying. The 3 days she's not here, I work the mornings. 2 of the days she's here I do close, and on my 2 days off, she has driving classes 7-10 one night and the next night my parents get back home. Yippy! Whatever, so long as I get to see her.
We had an interesting chat last night and in a way, it's a good thing it happened, but I guess I kind of freaked her out. She got to see a darker side of me; hell, she asked me to talk, and anyone who's spoken to me privately and on a serious matter knows I'm not exactly the most optimistic person you'll ever meet. I'm very grim about myself and others, and I think it may have frightened her a bit. I can be totally bi-polar and I don't think she expected it. I do feel bad I didn't properly ittirate my desire for her at that specific moment, but I'm sure she felt it was implied. Seems she was very interested about the blog and that was a topic that came up every so often. Why I don't exactly want her to read it, I'm not sure. I guess I'm just afraid of exposing myself even more, no matter how ridiculous that may sound. I don't exactly like having people know what I think. Then again, I'm a blatant hypocrite; the only reason I write here is for people to read my thoughts, and when I don't write it's because no one reads it, hehe. Quite the problem.
Welp, just getting that off seems to have made my day a lil better, I hate having to be home alone on a Saturday night. Tick, tock goes the clock...